I wrote this a good 8 years back. I always believed I was a very different person back then. Similar foundation but with that dreaminess and naivety of a 21 year old, and I have not grown some beliefs that I now hold on to. So this was a little different from my usual self from back then, so I thought I should put it here, but with quotation marks just cause:
"you know i might have mentioned this before but i have been thinking: what happens to the feelings when you break up with someone and then eventually move on?
do they just melt away or do they stay around? if the feelings just melt away, is it then a process of unloving? how then does someone learn to love and unlove and then love? how does someone learn to switch between the processes better than others? some people think that those who move on quickly are those who never truly loved. i think not. firstly, 'quick' is purely subject. secondly, i think there are those people who put their heart and soul into each relationship and when it doesn't work, it just doesn't for them. for them, there isn't a need to cry your lungs out for months on end and wear black mourning clothes everyday. i know about these kind of people because i know.
back to the topic on hand, if the feelings stay on, how then do you learn to move on? is it because you learn to become immune the feelings, much like a flu virus? and when you get together with someone else, it is another kind of a flu virus which you are not immune to yet? somewhat similar yet different? is that why some couples lose that passions years into their relationship? because they are also starting to get immune to the 'virus'? or is it cause the new person can create feelings in you that overwhelms the feelings for the old one? are the feelings you have for the new person the same or different to that for the old one?
why do people have to search for their other halves? why does it comes so naturally sometimes, yet it is so hard at others? why can't people just hit bullseye right away, skipping all the unnecessary pain and heartache you will laugh at years after? if you say it is so that you will learn to appreciate the right one after all the wrong ones, i think it is completely fallacious statement. essentially, life does not end after happily ever after. i think it is the process of being together that you learn to appreciate your partner, what happens before that doesn't matter. (why should it? an ex is called an ex for a reason.)"